The Weight of the Gift

Photo belongs to ADoseofShipBoy (flickr)

Of all the both amazing and some now infamous recording artists who were making their debuts in the mid 80's, my top pick for female vocalist was certainly neither of the above. To my 8 year old ears, Amy Grant was pure heaven.

Her tape "My Father's Eyes" was the first music I ever purchased with my own money. I still have that squeaky tape and give it a spin now and again just to make sure I still have all the words memorized.

When I found out we were having twins, the well timed words of one of her songs came rushing to my heart and has been lingering there ever since. It's a song about being thankful.

Here is a sample of the lyrics (written by Rich Mullins)

Doubly Good

chorus

You can thank the Father

For the things that He has done.

And thank Him for the things he's yet to do.

And if you find a love that's tender,
If you find someone who's true,
Then thank the Lord --
He's been doubly good to you.

I don't know if "doubly" is even a word, but it so perfectly describes how I feel about the life being knit together inside me right now.

Picture this...I'm an unsuspecting shopper making a regular run to the market, list and cloth sacks in hand, when to my surprise a voice announces "Congratulations! You're our 100th shopper and the winner of fabulous prizes!" I've got a dumfounded smile plastered on my face, people are parading around playing those funny little kazoos and gobs of confetti are fluttering and streaming down around me. Meanwhile my arms are being filled with lovely gifts...."you're pregnant!!"... "it's twins!"... "it's two baby girls!"..."ta da!" I stand in shock and embrace my confetti covered bundles. Everything pauses for a moment and the air is still as I take in the color and sound and news.

The sheer joy and shock and wonder is exhilarating. The realization of responsibility and change is sobering. The weight of the gift is humbling. And yet it truly is just that, a gift. A good gift. The kind that you can't earn (that would be a wage)...and the kind that has no strings attached (that would be a debt).

No, a this is a good gift...the kind that leaves me free of burden and free of words.

All I can say is doubly thank you.